Getting Your Ducks in a Row

 

Today I understand better the saying: "Getting All My Ducks in a Row"

 

Ever felt like your head is full of ducks.....so many different critters all quacking for your attention while you are trying to figure out your life. Nothing makes sense, and you are fighting for survival?

 

 

Maybe it's time to let some of these thoughts out.

 

My week: a client, who is almost 80, came in with his 24 year-old girlfriend. He is very deaf, and she is a skinny-as-a-rail former meth-head mother of three. They have been together since his wife died, and he seems unconcerned that she has had 3 kids in the interim. He is so concerned about her "lisbean" friend coming to the house and getting between them that he is yelling it all over the courthouse lobby and she is shaking her head in embarrassment and maybe even a little pride.

This was the same day I counseled someone whose boyfriend had punched her numerous times in the head, but she still "loves him"; someone else who has been swindled out of many thousands and is so distressed over losing her life savings; someone else who was attacked by her doctor; and someone who was kidnapped and attacked by 3 men; and someone who sat in my office a month ago is now dead.

 

 

This has been my life for the last year, not including the heartbreaking stories of the children who have been abused by step-family members, or even their own parents. And don't get me started on the people who lie to me every day.

 

In the meantime, while I hope I am making a difference somewhere, somehow, the grant that funds my position gets dwindled down to 1/6 of what it was....hmmm...what does that mean? I do not know.

 

My brain is tumbling with a million different thoughts....Maybe I just need to make some room for all the other things that are likely to come my way today and this week, this month, this year! My ducks are not all in a row yet, but just thinking of it in that way has helped.  Quack, quack....

 

 

 

 

Travelling North America - by motorcycle - with teenagers...yep, we did it.

Our Family Odyssey

In 1992, my husband and I decided to sell the house, put stuff in storage, and travel by motorcycle around Canada, USA and Mexico with our 14 and 16 year old teenagers. We took 3 months to prepare, all the while putting everything we might need on our trip against the dining room wall. We sorted it out, packed it on 3 motorcycles, and rode 6 hours to my parents' house where we went through everything again, and sorted out what we thought we might really need. We left behind half of what we had originally loaded that morning. 

My husband rode a BMW K100, I rode a Honda CBX550F, our son Erik rode a Yamaha Vision, and daughter Nikolette rode behind my husband most days. We packed all the things we thought we would need into certain categories: Kitchen Bag, the Clothes bags, the Tent bags, the school book bags, the Tool bag, and the Misc Bag. Each item had to go back in exactly the same spot after using it so that we always knew where everything was when we needed it. 

Similar to Herb's bike

After discussing it with our kids' schools (Niki was going into 9th grade and Erik into 11th grade), both principals seem to think it would be a great idea, asking for correspondence along the way. We enrolled them in Alberta Distance Learning, and figured out a system to mail lessons from on the road. They got the highest grades ever while working on one subject at a time, studying in campsites on picnic tables while I cooked over a small propane stove and tutored when needed. Our daughter sent weekly postcards back to her school, which unknown to her were read over the intercom every week, making her a celebrity when she came home. Our son came home and told some motorcycle celebrity that he had just ridden 60,000 kms in the last year. He was told he was crazy until it was verified by the two reliable adults with him that it was indeed true; then he was lauded as Hero for the Day, earning the respect of many other riders. 

Our general modus operandi was to travel for 200-300 miles in a day, and then find a campsite. Then usually Herb or sometimes Erik would ride back into town for supplies after the tents were set up (3 tents: one for Herb and I, and one each for the kids) if we had not already picked up supplies passing through town. While I cooked supper, the kids would do their school work and Herb would check out the bikes, or the campsite or plan our route for the next day (hardcopy road atlas, no gps, before Google Maps). Our 14 year old daughter was so proud that she could set up her tent by herself, and the kids would often compete to see who could put up their tent faster. Both kids learned how to find firewood and start a good campfire; how to use a knife in a useful way; and how read a map to plan the next day's travel. 

We had been on the road about a week, and were in northern Michigan and we set up camp at a lovely spot on the river. Erik came back from town saying, "Batten down the hatches, a storm is coming through." We ate quickly while making sure everything was as waterproof as possible. That night the thunder shook the ground under the tents, the rain came down in bucketfuls, Niki nearly floated away in her tent and we got totally drenched. I remember laying there thinking, "I sold my house for THIS!" After packing up very soggy sleeping bags and tents the next morning, we rode into town for a hot breakfast. In the little diner, the electrical company employees at the next table could not believe we had camped through what they called "the worst storm in a decade". It took a early stop with sunshine to dry out all the gear before we fell asleep that night in another campsite. 

From Sept 6, 1992 to May 20, 1993 we travelled through all ten Canadian provinces, all lower forty-eight USA states and about eight Mexican states. We crossed the continent 6 times, and rode about 60,000 kms (about 40,000 miles). We met wonderful people, rarely went on an interstate, choosing instead the "blue highways" of John Steinbeck or William Least Heat Moon. 

Not us, but a typical KOA Camping Cabin

A Mennonite Family in Mexico

Mostly we stayed in campgrounds, but sometimes we did get a KOA camping cabin, or occasionally a motel room in really bad weather. We also used a Hosting Program called "Mennonite Your Way" or we stayed with friends in all four corners of the continent for a day or two. That way we got to be in homes like a lighthouse in Michigan, a dairy farm in upstate New York state, the home of the only doctor to lepers in Louisiana, and an eco-ranch in Arizona. We stayed in a monastery one night, the first married couple ever to share a room there with the silent monks. We rented a condo for the month of November in Cocoa Beach, Florida and shared American Thanksgiving with friends living in Orlando. We spent Christmas in Chino, California where we had once lived for 6.5 years when the kids were small. For that holiday we actually treated ourselves to a nice hotel with a pool. One of our Christmas presents to each other was an hour each to ourselves in the room - we had been having a little too much "together" time. Herb and I shared our hours....

In Mexico, we found not only my extended Mennonite family who only spoke my childhood dialect, but we also met my parents there and traveled with them for two weeks. Then together we looked up a family that had been so good to my husband when he had an accident in Mexico, and they treated us like royalty, inviting us into their home and life, sharing feasts of delicious Mexican foods in rural central Mexico. We visited the home of an exchange student we knew well who took us to tour the Mexican pyramids in El Tajin. Traveling with a young Scotsman named Charlie who had bought a motorcycle when he entered the USA and was crossing the continent, gave us interesting company and new stories. He did not want to travel Mexico by himself, so he became a part of our caravan for three weeks. 

Too many stories to share in one blog, but if anyone wants to hear more of any particular part of the North American continent, we have probably been there!! 

It was a crazy year, a wonderful year and it was hard to come home. Every curve in the road brought a new adventure. When we came back to Edmonton and had bought a house and started settling in, our daughter said, "Dad, it's boring being in one place all the time." Our son said, "We made memories for a lifetime." We did.....maybe Herb and I will have to do it again....soon.

Got the Travel Bug AGAIN......

Every few months I get extremely restless. 

My children often wonder if they are children of gypsies! The gypsy blood I have in my veins....The desire to see new places, and eat new foods, and hear new sounds, becomes stronger and stronger in me until suddenly I am preparing for a trip to Kenya, or Haiti, or Brazil, or even Canada. 

Truth be told, my parents come from Mennonite farming stock, but my ancestors for the past 500 years or so were on the move, not because they wanted to be adrift or even travel but because they believed in adult baptism and so went from Holland to Prussia, Russia, then Canada, Mexico and even Central America to avoid persecution by the Catholics and Lutherans. Maybe that is where the genetic urge to travel comes from. My maternal grandpa and I spent many afternoons reading travel books together, he reading about places he would never visit, me researching for the future travels I would make. 

When I was in Grade 12, I spent a Friday night at a friend's house and came home Saturday morning to see my mother doing laundry. My mother only did laundry on Mondays, NEVER any other day! So when I asked her why, she said, "Because we are leaving for California this afternoon." Okay....my father did not like to plan, for fear that what he desired would not happen. So the 5 of us left that afternoon for a 2 week trip to California, school left behind and new adventures around every curve. And while we were there we saw the desert, the beach and some other wonderful views. We stayed in very cheap hotels, got meals from grocery store supplies, and drove...a lot. 

We did the same thing when I was in Grade 10 and we went to New Orleans for Christmas. Drove...a lot. Saw and toured a couple of antebellum mansions, ate at places in the French Quarter where most tourists would not go. My dad struck up a conversation with anyone anywhere, never had any fear to talk to a stranger, and so we always heard interesting stories. From the horse and carriage driver, the blues singer, the nun, the prostitute, the plantation owner, anyone with a story....we were not embarrassed by Dad because we got to hear the stories too....and we learned more on those trips than in our classrooms at home.  


We traveled anywhere my dad could drive. Then I married a guy who also has that gypsy blood (his mother is Russian Mennonite and his father was Norwegian - some Viking stuff going on and they were travelers too, right? I think that is the polite word for invaders?) He does most of his traveling on a BMW motorcycle (almost a million miles so far) even when overseas. Together we have traveled to a great many countries. I have traveled to over 30 countries, some more extensively than others of course. There are so many left to visit, and some to which I want to return for more discovery. This world and its people are incredibly interesting. My husband and I always enjoy our travels together and have had some interesting adventures. Stories to come......

Reno in heated jacket liner riding
a motorcycle in the rain in Morocco
drinking hot mint tea.

If you have not experienced that little hollow feeling inside that gives you a craving for new vistas, then maybe you are fortunate. It is like an illness, and the only cure is to get on a plane, in a car, or on a motorcycle, or start walking and go.......somewhere else....I feel the fever coming on again........did I ever tell you about how we took our two teenagers out of school and traveled for a year...by motorcycle?

Maybe next time. Right now I have a map to check....

Reno greeting one of the teachers in a rural school in Malawi

Bucket Lists...I just love checking off things done!

Spain 2013

The movie, The Bucket List, was interesting, a little silly, and rather funny. It seems to have given the whole world the idea that they need to have a bucket list - a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket (or die, for my non-English-idiom-user friends).

I love making lists. The iphone apps I have for lists are not nearly as satisfying as actually putting a nice pen on a new legal pad and writing out a list of things to do. And then checking them off as they are done - heaven! I have always been that way. Put me in a stationary store and I drool or spend money - it's hard to drag me out of there - ask my daughter, she knows. I was always the kid in school that loved starting a new notebook. I wrote with an ink nib and cartridge pen in high school just because I liked the way it looked when I wrote in those notebooks of mine. What a nerd I am!

Buckets lists can help us decide what is important to us. I started an on-going bucket list back in 1990. I already always have the following lists going: Things to fix in the house List, Things to do in the yard List, Groceries I need to buy List, Books I want to read List, Movies I want to watch List, People to call List, is this getting tedious or is it just me?.... So, I thought, why not add a Bucket List?

The Top 10 Items on Reno's Bucket List 1990:
Things to do Before I kick My Bucket 
1. Travel with my family for a year by motorcycle around Canada, USA, and Mexico.
Check - did that 1992-1993 - All 10 provinces, 48 states, and 8 Mexican provinces. 

2. Start a girls high school in Malawi.
Check - did that from 1994-2002. School is still thriving under local leadership. 

3. Travel with my husband by motorcycle around South Africa, Brazil and Morocco.
Check - did that 1999, 2012,  and 2013.

4. Become an International Relief Manager and feed 60,000 people in Zambia.
Check - did that 2002-2003. Challenging and wonderful year. 

5. Publish a book. Have written many many magazine articles, but have not published a book. Want to see my name as author on a book cover and someone reading it! (I actually have written the first draft of a novel, but have not read it for a year or two. I will go back and read it in a few months, and see if it is redeemable. I am thinking of starting a memoir instead.)

6. Start a blog and write regularly. 
Check  - started 2013. Now the goal is to keep writing.  

7.  Travel with my grandkids. I would love to take some of my African grandchildren back to where they were born, and see if there are any African relatives left to introduce to them. I would love to take my non-African grandchildren to someplace exotic and wonderful and meaningful. Right now I have to travel 3 days in the car to see any of my grandchildren - all 7 live in the great white north. 

8. Have my bathrooms and studio re-done. This might sound silly for a bucket list, but it is really up there. I would love to have someone come in, listen to my ideas, and design a new studio and bathrooms for my 50+ year old house. I want new windows, ceramic tiles, a rain shower, glue removed from hardwood floor in studio and of course, this would have to be done for free. Dream on.....but still something I want to see before I kick the old bucket. 

9. Have time to create more paintings...I love to paint with oil, and have procrastinated, due to studio not being completed - see #8.  I have 4 of my own paintings in my home.....have sold the rest, but often feel an overwhelming desire to create. There is really is no excuse for this except procrastination. 

10. Have a vacation with my husband on a warm sunny beach......where we walk out the front door of a cottage onto the beach, with comfortable lounge chairs, good books, cool drinks waiting for us, and we hold hands as we look at the horizon, smell the salty air and feel the sun caress us. 

#10 will probably be the hardest. Because: 1. My man would rather be on his motorcycle than almost anywhere. 2. His idea of a vacation is so much different than mine, and 3. Living so far from family we feel guilty going anywhere else if we do have the time for a vacation.  Don't get me wrong....we do want to spend time with family, and in my imaginary beach if the children and their spouses were on lounges beside us, or if they were playing beach volleyball or building sandcastles with the grandchildren, that would be perfect. Then we could all go back to the house for an evening BBQ where I have made my great potato salad, and my daughter her seven-layer salad, etc. etc. Dream on....

Still, continually revising my bucket list gets me thinking of the top ten things that I want to do. Notice how so many of mine involve travel? Tell me your top three. Maybe I will be inspired to put them on my list. My legal pad and pen are ready.