A New Direction - written in September

Written September 5 - "Today as I take the pictures off the wall of the small office in which I have worked for the past year, it finally feels real that I am in fact making a HUGE change in my life."


Sometimes it is easier to resist change, until you are forced to do it.

As of September 5, I am no longer the Victim Advocate in Scott County, Missouri, a small county in the Midwest. I have started a new career as a Real Estate Agent with Realty One Associates in Cape Girardeau, MO.

For six weeks, I attended real estate school from 6-10 pm four nights a week, after a full day in the courthouse. I wrote my school exam, and then wrote the national and state exams, passing both on my first attempt. I have a mentor, Laura Ritter, who is one of the top agents in this area. I have a fabulous location to work out of when I am not showing homes and meeting people at the Realty One new Cape Girardeau office on La Croix Road in Cape Girardeau.

You see, when I (and my office) saw the writing on the wall, and then got the news that the grant that funded my position would be dwindling away, I got proactive, and took up the offer of my friend Laura to go back to school. Perhaps the county will decide to fund this position in their next budget starting January 2014, but unfortunately I do like to eat, and could not wait around, or work for no pay. They recognized that too and so they suggested that if I found a new opportunity, I should probably grab it. The Prosecuting Attorney's office knows that they desperately need a good Victim Advocate. I was a good one. I would have continued in that very difficult position for a long time, longer than most of my predecessors, if there had been funds to pay me. I would have listened every day and read reports every day of how people hurt other people, by attacking, molesting, abusing, and beating them. The stories often made me cry and yet I had to listen in order to assist them through the process where they, as victims of crime, may have to face their abuser in court, and often testify against them. 

My last work at the court house was a jury trial which convicted a pedophile, so I left the courthouse feeling good about the work I had done here. I advocated for many victims and hopefully helped ease the stress of the judicial system for them as well. I often sent them on to other community resources as well, like to Beacon Health Center for counseling and assessment, to Mission Missouri for Anger management or parenting classes, and to House of Refuge for shelter. I urged the county's law enforcement to listen to the victims of domestic violence and incorporated new practices to make the paperwork of law enforcement officers easier. Using tough love, I encouraged - tough but with kindness - many women to find a better way than going back to the man beating them.

So, now for the turn around.....I hope to help many of you have less stress in either the buying or the selling of your home. I plan to be the very best realtor that I can be, and will use the same passion and focus in helping my clients in my new job as I did in the old. I plan to blog with some focus on how your home can be your castle.......see you down the road....new things ahead.

Don't Stop...Don't Give Up....Keep trying.....it's in my head now.

How many times have you been tempted to give up...on a dream, on a relationship, on an idea, on life...?

This nice gentleman was in my office today, and he has quite a story to tell. He watched the movie, Second Hand Lions, and decided to bring a yacht back to his pond in southeast Missouri. In spite of it taking a month to get his yacht from Florida to Missouri, with most of the time stuck in Alabama, he did not give up, and is restoring this beautiful boat today. Way to go, George.

In my work, I deal with people who have already given up and with some who want to give up. But there are those rare souls who have been handed a whole basket full of lemons, and then just go on and make lemonade. Tracy lost his sight in one eye, but is thrilled that due to a marvelous surgeon, he will get to actually keep the eye. So what if he had to undergo over 5 hours of surgery. Angie found a new job where they are thrilled to have her cheerful spirit, and she gets a new lease on life. So what if her last boss was a real piece of work. Debbie has left a very abusive husband, and is working in a nursing home where she feels she has much love and caring to give to people confined to beds and chairs. So what if her memories of married life still give her bad dreams.



If you haven't already seen this little girl's version of a Yo Gabba Gabba song - (not having little kids around, I had to google it) - her version of Don't Give Up gets in your head.

While I have been tempted to give up on some things this past year, people like the ones mentioned above encouraged me.....I won't give up....I will keep trying.......





 

How to REALLY find your bliss....7 ways I try to do that.

Interesting that the most readers I had on any one blog was titled, How to Find Your Bliss...in a really Tough Job. In re-reading my blog, I realized that I had not addressed the issue of my topic.

Where is my bliss?

 

So much of all work is repetitive, and so much is unfulfilling, but just needs to be done. Scut work we used to call it in the hospital. Some days the clock seems to stand still, and my eyes are bleary from looking at the computer screen. Some days my left ear is hot from not only holding the phone, but maybe from the words coming through it. Some days I am running back and forth, up and down, from courtroom to prosecutor's office, meeting people in my office, in the law library, in the court room.

 

So with all the hurting victims I deal with every day, how do I find bliss in a tough job?

 

1. First and foremost, I care. I care about the people for whom I have been asked to advocate in this job of victim advocate, but I care in whatever job I do. I cared about how the motorcycle dealership looked, operated and how it took care of its customers. I cared about the 60,000 families our program fed in Zambia. I cared about my patients when I operated LifeLine Therapy Clinic. I work with someone who does not care and admits that. While he is a fun person, is always good to talk to, my work is often harder because he does not care.

In this job, if I did not care, I would not be true to my faith that asks me to take care of hurting people.
Matthew 25:34-40, Jesus is talking to his disciples about why they should help others:
"Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why:

I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.’

Then those people are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me."

 

If I did not care, I would not be true to who I am as a human being, looking beyond my own selfish world and give a hand up to someone who is often calling for that hand. It is too easy to ignore the cries of others.

 

2. While this might seem like an opposite to the above "first and foremost", I take mini-vacations. 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. To either read an email, or shut my eyes and go to my "happy spot", or if no one else is in the office, get up and dance for a couple of minutes. I have a 200 song playlist of songs I really like in Spotify.com and I play my favorite tunes when not on phone or with a client. I have an energizing playlist and a relaxing playlist. Sometimes, I deliver the letters I write to victims one at a time to the main office mailbag on the third floor, get up, run up the 30 steps, just to get the blood flowing.

 

3. I talk about my work with a colleague. She, starting here after me, is bright, capable, and knows the work I do. She appreciates what I do to help her, and she knows that sometimes this work is overwhelming. We can commiserate about the progress or outcome of cases and help each other not to get overwhelmed.

 

4. I shake my work off like a cloak when I leave the office. I do not worry or fret about my clients - or very rarely after I drive away from the courthouse. There are enough other things to fret and worry about when I get home. My clients' stories do not keep me awake at night because I do not let them. I have prayed for many a client during the day on a mini-vay-cay but I have asked God to protect my mind from their hurts, angers, and anguish after I leave my office, and He has honored that request.

 

5. I have a husband who gives exceptionally good hugs. His arms know just when to envelope me and give me a safe place in this world. So when I do come home exhausted, his hugs refresh and center me.

 

6. I like to eat and that paycheck sure helps. So, when on the last day of the month, I see the number appear in my bank account that will pay the bills, the hard work feels worth it. I feel a little satisfaction in knowing that I am making a decent contribution to our household.

 

7. I take time to travel. Often to interesting and sometimes exotic places....like riding a motorcycle through Morocco, like living in a rural village in Malawi, like the Canadian prairies, as often as I can. I shop at thrift shops, have not done any much-needed remodeling on my house, and cut down on everything I can in order to travel as much as possible. Traveling gets me out of my comfort zone, out of my small thinking, so that I can expand my mind, use my inner resources and become a "bigger" person. Is this paid vacation time? Heck, no. And I don't work, I don't get paid....but that time away is so very refreshing and I come back better and stronger, having aired out the cobwebs in my mind.

 

So that's how I find my bliss...how about you?