A New Direction - written in September

Written September 5 - "Today as I take the pictures off the wall of the small office in which I have worked for the past year, it finally feels real that I am in fact making a HUGE change in my life."


Sometimes it is easier to resist change, until you are forced to do it.

As of September 5, I am no longer the Victim Advocate in Scott County, Missouri, a small county in the Midwest. I have started a new career as a Real Estate Agent with Realty One Associates in Cape Girardeau, MO.

For six weeks, I attended real estate school from 6-10 pm four nights a week, after a full day in the courthouse. I wrote my school exam, and then wrote the national and state exams, passing both on my first attempt. I have a mentor, Laura Ritter, who is one of the top agents in this area. I have a fabulous location to work out of when I am not showing homes and meeting people at the Realty One new Cape Girardeau office on La Croix Road in Cape Girardeau.

You see, when I (and my office) saw the writing on the wall, and then got the news that the grant that funded my position would be dwindling away, I got proactive, and took up the offer of my friend Laura to go back to school. Perhaps the county will decide to fund this position in their next budget starting January 2014, but unfortunately I do like to eat, and could not wait around, or work for no pay. They recognized that too and so they suggested that if I found a new opportunity, I should probably grab it. The Prosecuting Attorney's office knows that they desperately need a good Victim Advocate. I was a good one. I would have continued in that very difficult position for a long time, longer than most of my predecessors, if there had been funds to pay me. I would have listened every day and read reports every day of how people hurt other people, by attacking, molesting, abusing, and beating them. The stories often made me cry and yet I had to listen in order to assist them through the process where they, as victims of crime, may have to face their abuser in court, and often testify against them. 

My last work at the court house was a jury trial which convicted a pedophile, so I left the courthouse feeling good about the work I had done here. I advocated for many victims and hopefully helped ease the stress of the judicial system for them as well. I often sent them on to other community resources as well, like to Beacon Health Center for counseling and assessment, to Mission Missouri for Anger management or parenting classes, and to House of Refuge for shelter. I urged the county's law enforcement to listen to the victims of domestic violence and incorporated new practices to make the paperwork of law enforcement officers easier. Using tough love, I encouraged - tough but with kindness - many women to find a better way than going back to the man beating them.

So, now for the turn around.....I hope to help many of you have less stress in either the buying or the selling of your home. I plan to be the very best realtor that I can be, and will use the same passion and focus in helping my clients in my new job as I did in the old. I plan to blog with some focus on how your home can be your castle.......see you down the road....new things ahead.

Shining a little Light into Darkness

Light vs. Darkness

Two friends shared extreme opposite views on their FaceBook status this week. One, a woman whose blog I love and follow, said  "How can light enter the dark if Christians are too afraid of what the dark will do to them?" She was in Asia, seeing the destructive side of darkness personified in the sex-trafficking of girls in Cambodia. She wants to shed light into this darkness. 

The other, a guy who works in a prison and sees darkness everyday, posted a photo that he says looks tame compared to his workplace. Everything about the picture made me think of living in darkness. Grimy people using their middle finger, lying or crawling on the ground like Zombies; it seemed to me to personify the hopelessness I imagine the world might hold for people who have no faith in God and do not live in the Light. 

As a Christian, and as a Victim Advocate in the legal system, I know there is evil in this world. One defendant recently walked out of the courtroom where he was given probation after beating up his girlfriend, and declared, "I just made a deal with the devil." He went on to beat up another man very severely and is now in prison for the next 7 years. Some deal. John 3:19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.

I appreciate the fight against darkness that Jamie (FB: Jamie the very worst missionary) and so many others are in thick of, often standing toe to toe with evil on a line in the sand. That is why I am doing the job I have (in spite of low pay and few perks) as a Victim Advocate. Every morning as I drive to work, I pray...for not only the victims of crime that I spend time with, but also that the whole armor of God protects my heart and my mind in the hearing of how often children and women and men are treated by other human beings in a ways that make your stomach turn and your eyes want to weep. I do it because I also strongly believe in the power of The LIGHT. John 8:12 Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” Jesus is the light in the darkness. 

Ephesians 6:10-12: Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

The only way we can fight the fight is covered with the armor of God. There are a lot of pieces to this "armor". Ephesians 6:13-19: Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith,with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel. 

The good news is that we can make a difference. John 1:5 The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. The darkness does not win. "Evil only happens when good men and women do nothing" as Edmund Burke said. Put on your armor...it's time to fight.

How to REALLY find your bliss....7 ways I try to do that.

Interesting that the most readers I had on any one blog was titled, How to Find Your Bliss...in a really Tough Job. In re-reading my blog, I realized that I had not addressed the issue of my topic.

Where is my bliss?

 

So much of all work is repetitive, and so much is unfulfilling, but just needs to be done. Scut work we used to call it in the hospital. Some days the clock seems to stand still, and my eyes are bleary from looking at the computer screen. Some days my left ear is hot from not only holding the phone, but maybe from the words coming through it. Some days I am running back and forth, up and down, from courtroom to prosecutor's office, meeting people in my office, in the law library, in the court room.

 

So with all the hurting victims I deal with every day, how do I find bliss in a tough job?

 

1. First and foremost, I care. I care about the people for whom I have been asked to advocate in this job of victim advocate, but I care in whatever job I do. I cared about how the motorcycle dealership looked, operated and how it took care of its customers. I cared about the 60,000 families our program fed in Zambia. I cared about my patients when I operated LifeLine Therapy Clinic. I work with someone who does not care and admits that. While he is a fun person, is always good to talk to, my work is often harder because he does not care.

In this job, if I did not care, I would not be true to my faith that asks me to take care of hurting people.
Matthew 25:34-40, Jesus is talking to his disciples about why they should help others:
"Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why:

I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.’

Then those people are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me."

 

If I did not care, I would not be true to who I am as a human being, looking beyond my own selfish world and give a hand up to someone who is often calling for that hand. It is too easy to ignore the cries of others.

 

2. While this might seem like an opposite to the above "first and foremost", I take mini-vacations. 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. To either read an email, or shut my eyes and go to my "happy spot", or if no one else is in the office, get up and dance for a couple of minutes. I have a 200 song playlist of songs I really like in Spotify.com and I play my favorite tunes when not on phone or with a client. I have an energizing playlist and a relaxing playlist. Sometimes, I deliver the letters I write to victims one at a time to the main office mailbag on the third floor, get up, run up the 30 steps, just to get the blood flowing.

 

3. I talk about my work with a colleague. She, starting here after me, is bright, capable, and knows the work I do. She appreciates what I do to help her, and she knows that sometimes this work is overwhelming. We can commiserate about the progress or outcome of cases and help each other not to get overwhelmed.

 

4. I shake my work off like a cloak when I leave the office. I do not worry or fret about my clients - or very rarely after I drive away from the courthouse. There are enough other things to fret and worry about when I get home. My clients' stories do not keep me awake at night because I do not let them. I have prayed for many a client during the day on a mini-vay-cay but I have asked God to protect my mind from their hurts, angers, and anguish after I leave my office, and He has honored that request.

 

5. I have a husband who gives exceptionally good hugs. His arms know just when to envelope me and give me a safe place in this world. So when I do come home exhausted, his hugs refresh and center me.

 

6. I like to eat and that paycheck sure helps. So, when on the last day of the month, I see the number appear in my bank account that will pay the bills, the hard work feels worth it. I feel a little satisfaction in knowing that I am making a decent contribution to our household.

 

7. I take time to travel. Often to interesting and sometimes exotic places....like riding a motorcycle through Morocco, like living in a rural village in Malawi, like the Canadian prairies, as often as I can. I shop at thrift shops, have not done any much-needed remodeling on my house, and cut down on everything I can in order to travel as much as possible. Traveling gets me out of my comfort zone, out of my small thinking, so that I can expand my mind, use my inner resources and become a "bigger" person. Is this paid vacation time? Heck, no. And I don't work, I don't get paid....but that time away is so very refreshing and I come back better and stronger, having aired out the cobwebs in my mind.

 

So that's how I find my bliss...how about you?

 

 

This very minute, I am making a choice.....

CHOICES:
There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
http://t.usnews.com/bC97A

 

 

Choices every single day, life choices, food choices, activity choices. Mostly benign choices, but often life-changing choices. 

 

There is a great book out, called Make Shift Happen by Dean Dyer. Dean Dwyer is a former teacher, who quit his job to accept a more ambitious mission: Could he actually make MAKE SHIFT HAPPEN in his own life? Well, it seems he did...his website is http://kickstartyourunlivedlife.com/ and I like many of his ideas. The book was so good that I took his 20 "shifts" and made my own notebook of those shifts and made them my own.

 

Today, I  make the choice to DO SOMETHING SEISMIC! I am in control of my life .....or am I?

 

My job is dependent on whether or not my grant is renewed. So I can choose whether or not to work for free ......Not! I can always choose to try to find another job. I have to live with the consequences that I am a renaissance woman and have many skills, interests and experience that don't always fit into a cookie-cutter job - which makes it harder to find satisfying work.

 

My husband has made a job choice so he is commuting 100 miles! What choices does that give me? Hmmmm......sometimes we have to live with the consequences of other people's choices too. I chose to deal with his choice without uprooting our residence.

 

I chose my own car for first time in my life last month - made the deal myself too. Hubby says "good choice". It makes me feel good to drive a slight-used Jeep that runs well, instead of settling for the old Jeep that needed new gaskets and was dripping oil, just to "make-do".

 

I do choose what to put in my mouth today...and I take full responsibility for the weight I have gained over the very stressful past year...today I am deciding to stop eating everything in sight. If I do that every day, my skinny clothes that fill half my closet will fit again by September!

 

I choose what to spend my hard-earned money on, whether to buy something for me to look at in my house, or simply pay bills, or send to a struggling school in Zambia.

 

I chose to say Yes to my husband's proposal of marriage, and I choose to love my big imperfect man, who is perfect for me. I would say the most fun we have together is when we are travelling, and share new experiences together. As my son-in-law says to our daughter, "your parents are just gypsies". Could be true.

 

I chose to say Yes to God, when he asked for my heart, and in return He gave me joy. I choose today to live in joy, not despair. I chose to delight in God, the prime directive according to John Piper. More on that later....

 

Every day, millions of choices, including how I spend every minute of every day. We have free will to make those choices, and then have to accept the consequences of each of those choices.

 

I hereby take full and total responsibility for my choices. What about you?